“Oh, you gotta love yourself

If you really wanna be with someone else

You gotta feed yourself

Before you feed somebody else

You gotta stay open, and don’t be foolish

‘Cause everybody don’t mean you well

You gotta love yourself

Before you love somebody else” 

– Mary J. Blige (Love Yourself)

Five ways to practice self-love on Valentine’s Day and every day

Put mildly; hatred is evil. To imagine that one can hate oneself seems preposterous, right? But here lies a sad fact; many people hate themselves without even knowing it. Self-hatred pops up when people are not satisfied with themselves, whether it’s their looks, background, or status in society. Since hatred can only beget hatred, people are walking the streets with this malaise affect the entire society.

To counter hatred in society requires doses of love, starting with a love for oneself.

Here are five practical ways to show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day:

1. Pamper yourself

Don’t wait for anyone to give you Valentine’s treat this year – take the initiative and pamper yourself. Go in for an exquisite massage session. Relaxing in the steam rooms or Jacuzzi helps calm your body and mind. Cook something special for yourself, try a new recipe. Try to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Take the time to remind yourself how deserving you are of the extraordinary things in life.

2. Write something sweet to yourself

 Now is the time to recall anything good about yourself. Make a list of your most significant achievements, proudest moments; anything you like about yourself. How long (or short) the list seems doesn’t matter. What matters is that you reflect on those good traits and relive the fond moments. For the more creative folks, you may consider writing a love letter to yourself, or even a poem.

3. Enjoy the beauty of nature

 Getting in tune with Mother Earth is a great way to practice self-love this Valentine’s Day, especially if you’re a lover of natural scenes. Whether it’s wildlife, waterfalls, beaches, a mountain hike, or even a stroll in the woods, contact with nature can flood your soul with so many beautiful thoughts—feel the moment. Ensure you take proper safety and security precautions.

4. Get Spiritual

 Be thankful. Forgive yourself. Meditate. Pray.

This Valentine’s Day, you may wish to rid yourself of the toxic thoughts that have caused you pain and self-hatred. Engage in some spiritual exercises; take yoga or knitting classes. If you cannot handle this alone, reach out to a close confidant, your guardian, your spiritual mentor, or a counselor.

5. Express Love to Someone you care about

Love is never complete until it is shared. We feel better about ourselves each time we do something good for others. This Valentine’s Day, carve out time to do something special for someone else; maybe get them a gift or plan a surprise outing for them. There is a considerable sense of self-fulfillment we gain by doing this, which enhances our self-appreciation, and ultimately our self-love.

While practicing self-love, it is also a good idea to limit your exposure to social media. The FOMO (fear of missing out) and vain comparisons associated with social media will do little good for you self-appreciation.