If you didn’t get an invitation, it means you are not invited
“Uninvited guests are often most welcome when they leave” – Aesop
How to Deal with an Uninvited Guest
People around the world spend a lot of time and money on planning the important events in their lives. Late spring is the time when people are having graduations parties, weddings, and other significant celebrations. Organization of such events can turn into a very stressful experience. And for many people, the most stressful part of hosting an event is crafting their guest list.
No matter how many times you extend your list of guests to include yet another forgotten relative, you will inevitably have to leave someone out.
I recently had to deal with family members who invited themselves to my son’s graduation. Coping with an uninvited guest can be very stressful. In anticipation of her big day, Meghan Markle had to deal with a backlash from family members whom she has chosen not to invite to her wedding with Prince Harry. As if marrying into the Royal family is not stressful enough!
Why do Uninvited Guests Backlash on Us?
Whether it is a family occasion or the office party, everyone likes to receive an invitation. Not getting invited for your wedding will most likely cause an uninvited friend to feel left out, offended, and hurt. Similarly, when you tell your cousin that you, unfortunately, can’t accommodate her boyfriend-of-two weeks at your wedding reception, she may not be as understanding as you expected.
The truth is, however, that your celebration (particularly your wedding ceremony and reception!) is your moment in the spotlight, and you deserve it to be perfect. Thus you get to decide who is going to be there to witness the happiest day of your life. It’s common sense, right?
Still, many of us cannot escape the feelings of guilt and discomfort for not including a particular person on our guest lists.
How to Deal with the Stress of an Uninvited Guest?
Here are some things you can do when managing an uninvited guest’s feelings.
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Politely explain your decision
If a person asks you directly why he or she hasn’t been invited to the event, try to give the honest but polite answer. If the uninvited guest is your friend’s short-term partner or a child, explain that your guest list is pretty tight, the catering already ordered or that you have planned an adult-only event. Send your invitations far enough prior to your celebration, so people can decide whether they will attend or not and make arrangements for their uninvited kids.
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Reconsider your invitation
In some situations, you might want to reconsider some of your guests’ invitations. For example, if your single friend has become engaged since you sent out the wedding invitations, you may decide to extend your guest list and welcome his/her partner to your wedding reception.
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Assign someone to deal with a potential party crasher
If an uninvited person decides to show up, after all, have a groomsman, a venue manager or someone from security personnel ready to make accommodations (if a crasher is someone you know) or politely ask the uninvited guest to leave (when the crasher is a stranger).
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Practice relaxation or meditation
Finally, don’t let the stress of an uninvited guest ruin your special occasion. Meditation, physical exercise or different relaxation techniques can be a great way to reduce the tension and boost your spirits before the event.
Uninvited guests may feel hurt and angry with our decision to exclude them from the guest list. If the uninvited friend or a relative decides to take it out on you, try to stay composed, calm, and polite but firm. Eventually, they’ll simply have to suck it up and live with it. And you’ll have your guest list just the way you wanted it.
