Misery Loves Company
How Miserable People will Make You Equally Miserable
“Misery loves good company, so if you are surrounded with drama, gossip and fools you may want to consider that you are presently at risk of becoming one of them.” – Bryant McGill
Remember that grumpy cousin that always grunts, huffs, and puffs at the family gatherings? No matter which topic you bring on, he would still come up with some sort of a negative comment. And no matter what you do to cheer him up, he would merely stay miserable.
Some people just cannot be pulled out of their bad mood. Regardless of what you say or do to make them feel better, it seems impossible to change their gloomy mindset.
However, misery loves company, so your cousin will probably try to drag you into his cloudy mood whenever he gets a chance. After a family dinner and a long conversation with him, you probably feel drained, low-spirited, and depressed.
How to Avoid Miserable People
I have a co-worker who is unhappy about everything. She complains about every single thing. And she would go on and on venting about the tiniest stresses in her life; until everyone around her feels completely drained, overwhelmed, and equally miserable.
Our negative family members, friends, and co-workers have a tendency to (consciously or unconsciously) make us equally miserable. The negative energy that unhappy people emit threatens to suck you in as soon as your miserable counterparts notice that they have your attention.
To keep up your mental well-being, you need to learn how to avoid the toxic interactions with miserable people. Here are a few tips.
Learn how to Recognize Miserable People
Toxic people want everyone else to be as miserable as they are. If you never see emotions other than sadness, anger, criticism, clinginess or jealousy, keep that person at arm’s length.
1. Set the boundaries
Put your needs first. Although you may feel empathy for your depressed friend, be mindful if her complaint becomes a ‘one too many.’ Don’t allow her misery to take over you. Respect your own needs for rest, peace and happiness.
2. Listen to your intuition
Trust your gut. It will empower you to recognize other people’s feelings and respond to them appropriately.
3. Surround yourself with positive people
Build an active support group of optimistic, healthy, and happy people and nurture healthy, positive relationships.
4. Be positive
Give out the positivity you want to see in others. Smile and laugh often and be kind and friendly in your social interactions. Your positivity will keep the miserable ones away.
The Effect, the Miserable People, have on Our Mental Health
Different studies have demonstrated that there is a strong link between negative relationships, stress, and health. Negative people can make you physically and emotionally drained. Also, after spending time with your miserable friend or a family member, you tend to feel worse about yourself.
Negative people affect our mood and bring us down. What is more, the neuroscience research has proved that miserable people and their negative attitude can actually have the effect on our brain.
Research has shown that misery is contagious. Even a small amount of negative brain activity can weaken our immune system and make us more prone to illness.
According to Dr. Travis Bradberry, negative viewpoints affect our IQ and cognitive skills. Negativity compromises the effectiveness of the neurons in the area of the brain responsible for reasoning and memory – the hippocampus.
This means that the negative words or actions the miserable people say and take in your presence can affect your brain. Thus who you choose to spend your time and interact with truly matters.
